To My Beloved, I Hope You Understand
by BellaAlice4E
Summary: Bella has a secret from her childhood that she needs to share with her girlfriend Alice. She is scared but she hopes Alice truly understands why Bella is the way she is and why she acts the way she acts.
1. Chapter 1

**To My Beloved, I Hope You Understand**

I decided to write this so that others may understand me a little better. I am not giving any excuses, just explaining things that have happened to me and possible reasons for certain outcomes. To be as honest as I can this all started around the age of thirteen. Or at least that's the earliest that I can remember these things happening. No I will not go into detail about certain events, as they are too devastating for me to have to relive. I need to deal with the feelings they have caused and move on. That is the only way I will heal and have a healthy relationship with the woman I love. I can't put her through this any longer. And yes, she knows about which I am writing, it was her idea to write this. So this piece of work explaining my life up until this point is dedicated to my soul mate and best friend, Mary Alice Brandon. I love you with all my heart and soul, and it is you and you alone which has given me the strength to heal that soul. I love you so much baby!

Chapter One

I hate how he looks at me, like I'm a piece of meat. I tried to find the words to tell my mother but every time I get the nerve, something causes me to lose it. He will NEVER be my father and I truly wish my mother had never married the slimy bastard. My father was an amazing man and if he were here today then this beast of a man wouldn't be alive.

My mother works the late shift at the diner this weekend and I had asked repeatedly if I could stay at my friend Angela's house but my mother said that since my grades were dropping I was grounded and stuck here with _him_. If I only had the nerve to tell her why I hated him so much, maybe then she would leave him. He has evil in his eyes.

My mother married him when I was a small child. My father died in an accident at work. He was the Chief of Police here in Forks, WA and everyone was saddened by his death. Not even six months later my mom married James. She kept telling me I needed two parents to raise me, the whole mother father bullshit. I was scared of him then. Now I'm terrified. I am thirteen and the man keeps watching me.

"Bella, I am going to work now. I don't want to hear that you ran away again. Between your grades and this running away crap you are going to be grounded until you're eighteen. I will be home around six in the morning. Please behave for James." My mother said to me as she collected her apron and keys and was about to head out the door.

"Mom, please let me stay with Angela. I will do all my homework and I will stay inside all night. I promise. Just don't leave me here." I pleaded one last time. Of course it fell upon deaf ears. She turned and walked out the door. My nightmare was about to begin.

I decided it was probably safest for me to go up to my room and lock my door. So that is just what I did. Little did I know that it would be of no use. An hour later there was banging on my door.

"Little Bella dear, your mom wanted me to make sure you do your homework and I can't do that if you lock me out of your room." He said patronizingly from the other side.

"James, I'm not feeling well. I think I'm going to lie down for a little while. I will do it later. Ok?" I said, hoping it would be sufficient to make him leave. Then I heard the doorknob. He wasn't giving up so easily.

Then surprisingly it was quiet. The doorknob was released and I heard his footsteps walking away. My heart slowed down. I hadn't realized how fast it was racing til that moment. I turned on the lamp next to my bed and as quickly as I could I did my homework. I finished it an hour later. My stomach started to grumble but I had no desire to venture out of my room tonight so I put my books away, turned off my light, covered myself with my comforter and tried to fall asleep. At first it was hard but after what seemed like forever my eyes grew heavy and sleep took over. It was only nine o'clock at night. I had a long night ahead of me.


	2. Chapter 2

***Disclaimer* I do not own Bella or Alice or any other Twilight character. I would love to 'own' Alice ;) but alas I do not. (Sorry I forgot to add this to my first chapter.)**

Chapter Two

I awoke with a start. I could feel someone in my room. I stayed under the blanket hoping whomever it was would leave. I didn't get so lucky. I heard quiet footsteps closing in on me and I tried so hard to pretend to still be asleep. Then I felt someone sit on the edge of my bed. A hand slowly made its way under my blanket and up my back. I felt a cold tremor go up my spine. The hand could only belong to one person.

At this point in my life I was sleeping in just a t-shirt, underwear, and shorts. I felt his hands slide up under my shirt and around to my stomach. I still tried so hard to pretend to be asleep. Deep down inside I wanted to scratch his eyes out but I just lay there scared. He slid his hand up to my breast and started to knead it roughly. I couldn't take it any longer so I tried to roll over only my side that would put me facing away from him and forcing him to remove his hand. It worked, but only temporarily. He reached over my side and roughly rolled my onto my back, before I could do anything about it he had my hands pinned above my head with one arm and his other was up my shirt again. This time, he threw the blanket to the floor and I could see the evil in his eyes.

I tried to wiggle my way free but he was stronger than me. With his free hand he pulled my shirt up to my neck and then I felt a hot wetness on my breast as he started sucking on it. I was so scared he was going to rape me in my own room. He stopped sucking and leaned up to my head.

"This is our little secret right Bella dear? You're mother would never believe you any way. If you be a good girl I promise I will give you what you truly want. I've seen you watching me watch you. I've seen your eyes. You have 'hungry eyes' my little Bella." He whispered into my ear before pinching my nipple hard and letting my hands to. He got up and walked out of my room.

I lay there in the fetus position and cried until I heard my mom's keys in the door. Now that she's home I know he won't touch me again. I get up and grab my blanket and curl up on my bed and continue to cry into my pillow. My nightmares just became a reality.


	3. Chapter 3

***Disclaimer* I do not own Bella or Alice. :) **

Chapter Three

My only bit of freedom from these nightmares is school and it's close to ending for the year. We have three weeks left and then I have nowhere to go during the days. I slowly get dressed taking care to gently put on my bra. My breast is still sore from when he pinched my nipple harder. I was surprised when he left me alone for the rest of the weekend. I thought I wasn't going to be that lucky.

I headed downstairs and my mom was sitting at the table. I know she has the next three nights off and I figured she'd still be asleep. We don't exactly have a good relationship since she married James. I nod at her while I get some bread for toast. While it's toasting, I pour a glass of orange juice. Just as my toast pops up James walks into the kitchen. He walks up to my mother but before he kisses her, he looks back over his shoulder at me with this slimy grin he has. I gulp my juice down and grab my bag practically running out the door with my toast in my hands. I walk over to my dad's old truck and climb in. I stop for a moment and catch my breath.

One day this will be my truck. Mom already promised me. I sit in it when I need to feel him. I feel safer in this truck then anywhere in my house. I catch my breath and climb back out and start walking towards school.

I get to school and notice Angela is waiting for me by the main entrance. I walk over to her and we walk into school together. As far as friends go, Angela is really the only one I have and yet I can't tell her about James because I don't feel safe telling anyone. We walk to our first class together and sit next to each other. I'm glad our math teacher doesn't assign seats. We sit there waiting for the rest of our classmates and teacher to show up.

"So how was your weekend Bella?" Angela asks me.

"It was the same as always. I don't know why my mom married that man but I hate having him around." I said quietly. I look down at my notebook and start doodling.

Just as the teacher walks in I look up and see a new girl standing next to him. Mr. Ryan smiles and introduces the new girl as Mary Alice Brandon. She looks around and then down at her feet. Before she looks down though I catch her eyes, they are the most stunning shade of light blue I had ever seen. And her quirky smile is so beautiful. She has the palest skin, even paler than mine with hair that is so black it's got a blue tint to it when the sun hits it and it is shortened into a cute pixie bob that she has spiked out everywhere. One thing I definitely notice about her other than her eyes is her height, she's so small. If she's lucky she's five foot.

Mr. Ryan hands her a piece of paper and points her to the only empty seat in the room, the one on the other side of me. As she walks over to it I notice her glance my way but I look down quickly and feel my cheeks blush. I sit quietly through the rest of class waiting for the bell to ring. As soon as it does I'm out of there and heading down to my next class. Lucky me, it's English and we are reading Wuthering Heights, so I know that I can just sit there in my own world. I love the classics that we read and I've read this one a million times.

I open my book and start reading when a scent fills the room; I turn to see Mary Alice again. She smiles and her cheeks start to turn a light pink. She sits down next to me and taps me on the shoulder.

"Is that the book we're reading right now or do you just read the classics for fun?" she asked with a smile.

"Actually both." I reply and extend my hand. "My name is Bella, you're Mary Alice right?"

"Actually I go by Alice, thanks. And it's nice to meet you Bella." She takes my hand in hers and the electrical current nearly floors me. I smile with the first true smile I've had in a very long time.

From that day we were practically inseparable. She became a closer friend than Angela ever had the chance to be. (I seem to be jumping ahead, let me back up a bit to that summer.)


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

The summer I turned 14 I met my best friend and had my world ripped apart.

The rest of the school year James left me alone, which surprised me more but scared me also. On the last day of school Alice and I made plans to hang out at her house. So when the last bell rang we headed to the parking lot because her older brother Emmett was going to give us a ride. As soon as I stepped out the door my heart stopped. Sitting there in front of me was my dad's truck with James in the driver seat.

I looked at Alice and she saw the anger and hurt on my face.

"Bella, relax. Don't let him see how mad you are. Just come home with Emmett and me." Alice said to me as she turned me to face her.

"Hey Isabella, your mom wanted me to pick you up. She said you need to come home." James yelled across the seat out the passenger window. I cringed. Alice noticed.

I walked over to the window and put my hands on the door.

"I thought my mom was working a double tonight. She isn't even home." I replied.

"Get in the truck, Issie, now. Don't make a scene in front of your friends and classmates." He growled under his breath. I hated it when he called me Issie.

I turned to look back at Alice and frowned. She knew what that meant. She took a step towards me and I gave her a look to stop her. I didn't know what James would do or say if she came over to me. I didn't want him messing up the friendship I've built with her. I waved and slowly climbed into the truck cab. I put my seatbelt on and looked out the window. I just sat there waiting for him to drive away.

"That was a good girl, Issie." He said as he placed his hand on my thigh. I went to push it away and he grabbed it tighter.

"You are hurting me James." I said low enough that only he would hear me.

"You know you like it." He sneered.

I just sat there waiting for him to leave the school parking lot. He released my leg and put the truck in drive and started off. As we got closer to my house I noticed my heart was starting to race. I was very nervous and getting scared. When we finally pulled into the driveway and he stopped the truck, I jumped out before he could do anything and ran up the steps to the door. Finding it unlocked I opened it and not caring to shut it I raced up the stairs to my bedroom. I locked my door and threw my book bag on my bed.

I sat on my bed dreading what was coming next. Hoping I was wrong. Then I heard them. His boots on the steps, he wasn't coming very fast which meant that he was toying with me. I looked out my window but I couldn't bring myself to try to jump to the tree outside it. It was a long way down and I am not good at anything involving athletics.

Then I heard my doorknob turning. I heard him start pounding on my door.

"Issie let me in. It's ok, you want this. I would never hurt you." He said right before he decided to kick in my door. I just about flew out of my skin at the sound of it breaking and splintering. I covered my face with my hands to protect it from the projectiles. Then I smelled his disgusting cologne. I knew he was in front of me, even with my eyes covered, I could feel his presence. It always made my skin crawl.

He reached down and touched my arms. I wanted to scream so badly. He pushed me down on my bed and climbed on top of me. He grabbed both my wrists and held them above my head while taking his other hand and sliding it under my shirt. I started to scream but he took the hand holding my wrists and clamped it over my mouth. Then I tried to push him off me but the reality was I wasn't going to be able too. He outweighed me by about hundred and fifty pounds. He decided that since I wasn't going to cooperate, he would flip me onto my stomach instead. Then he ripped my pants down my legs and threw them on the floor.

I decided that fighting him was only going to make him mad and get me hurt so I separated myself from the situation. That was the first time that summer that he raped me. It wasn't the last either.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

For the past five years I have been at my mother's husband's mercy. He wouldn't hurt me too bad as long as I would do what he wanted when he wanted. I told you I wouldn't go into too many details because it was a hard and dark time for me. I tried to kill myself four times. Almost succeeded once, after that time I haven't tried again.

The only thing that eventually kept me the sanest was little Alice. She and I became really good friends and when James wasn't hurting me I would be at her house. I couldn't bring myself to tell her all the terrible things he did, but I wanted to.

Our senior year started out like any other. We had a lot of the same classes and we'd hang out at lunch. One day though I came to school with a bruise on my cheek under my eye. See this was the first time he'd hit me in the face. He wanted me to give him a blow job before school and I told him no. My first attempt at standing up for myself got me slugged. I tried to cover it up with makeup but I am the last person who should be messing with makeup.

"Bella, what happened to your face?" Alice asked as she ran up to me. I shrugged. I couldn't tell her. I have never told her. But after five years of keeping it to myself, I broke down and couldn't hold back.

I didn't tell her everything, only that James hit me this morning. I wanted to tell her about the raping and the suicide attempts, but I couldn't. I couldn't bring myself to alienate the only person in the world who kept me sane. So I didn't.

She pulled me to the nearest ladies room and shoved me through the door. She pulled me to the sink and then checked all the stalls. No one was in there with us. She walked back over to the door and locked it. Then she came back over to the sink where I was standing.

"How long has he been hitting you Bella?" she asked as she pulled out her makeup bag. Leave it to Alice to always have her makeup with her. She was so beautiful. She could definitely fix my mess.

"Not all the time. Only when he's upset by something, please Alice, I don't want to talk about it. I should have just done what he asked. I'm sorry." I said as she gently fixed the makeup on my bruise. Her fingers on my skin felt so feather light and yet that charge was there that I felt all those years ago.

I am not a physical person and Alice is. She loves to hug and touch me playfully. I try to keep my distance because I can't stand being touched anymore. James has ruined the most intimate things for me. This is the first time I actually let her touch me for so long.

"There you go Bella. Looks much more natural." She said as she started to put her things away.

"Thanks. I probably looked like, well I'm not sure what I would have looked like." I said with a giggle.

"Bella, does your mom know he hurts you?"

"No. I can't tell her. He told me she wouldn't believe me any way. I'm used to it." I said sheepishly.

"There is no reason you should be. Bella, why haven't you ever told me before? I told you when we first met you could tell me anything. We've been best friends for five years and you've been keeping this from me the whole time." She said with a hint of anger.

I looked over to her and the tears in her eyes tore at my heart. I hated seeing Alice cry. Against my issues I pulled her into my arms and hugged her tightly. It just tore at me to see her cry because of me.

"Alice, honey I am so sorry. I didn't want to burden you with it. I wasn't keeping it from you to be mean. You're my best friend; you know things about me that no one else does." I said into her sweet, vanilla smelling hair.

"Bella, I think I know things about you even you don't know." She said against my neck. It sent shivers down my spine when her lips moved against my skin. She softly kissed my neck. It felt amazing and yet I pushed her away from me.

"I'm sorry Bella." She said as she turned away from me. I stood there, just looking at her. Never once in the last five years had Alice ever had a boyfriend. I never thought about it because I never had one either and I assumed it was because she hung out with me whenever I could get away from my house. She grabbed her makeup bag and headed over to the bathroom door.

Before she unlocked it I grabbed her arm. I swung her around and looked into her beautiful blue eyes. She looked up at me and before she could say anything I bent down and kissed her lips softly. The electricity flowing between us intensified as the kiss intensified. I probed with my tongue hoping she'd part her sweet lips for me.

Then she did, and I was instantly in heaven. Her mouth tasted so much sweeter and I pulled her closer to me. This was the first time I have ever kissed someone other than James when he'd force himself on me. I never thought a kiss could feel this wonderful. I didn't want it to stop, I wanted it to go on forever, but I knew it couldn't. I stopped kissing her and when I did we both inhaled a deep breath and just stood there staring at each other. I was about to touch her cheek when we heard someone using a key to open the door.

Ms. Philips, the gym teacher, opened the door just then and Alice turned and walked out it quickly. Maybe I went too far, she's my best friend. I grabbed my bag and started to follow her. Instead of going into our first classroom she went back out to the parking lot. I followed her. I started jogging after her and caught up to her before she opened her car door.

"Alice wait!" I said grabbing her arm for the second time today.

She spun around and had tears in her eyes again. I gently wiped them away and encouraged her to talk to me.

"Bella, you kissed me." She said softly.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

_I kissed Alice. I really kissed Alice._

"Bella, what are you thinking?" she asks with a hint of worry.

I just stare at my feet and was at a loss for words. I've wanted to kiss her since I first met her. I was just so scared.

She walks closer to me and I look up into her gorgeous eyes. I see a hint of excitement in them. She reaches up and pulls my face to hers. When I feel her soft sweet lips touch mine it's like my heart sings. The feeling is so amazing. She reaches behind my neck pulling me closer. Then I feel her tongue seeking permission to enter my mouth. I open my mouth with a hunger that I have never felt before. Her tongue tasted like vanilla. I returned her kiss until I had to pull apart for air.

I look into her eyes and drop to my knees, crying.

"Bella, what's wrong? Did I do something wrong? You kissed me first. I thought you wanted me too." she said as she dropped to her knees in front of me.

"I've wanted to kiss you for so long, but I was afraid. I shouldn't have done it now though." I said still sobbing. I slowly stand up without looking at her.

Then I hear that God awful noise that could only belong to James' piece of shit truck. I look towards the entrance to the school parking lot and see him speeding towards us. I know I have a look of dread on my face because Alice grabs my arm and spins me towards her.

"Is that your step-dad, Bella?" she whispers.

Alice knows I hate my step-dad, and after she saw my blackeye she's leary of him, but she doesn't know it all. I am so scared to tell her, especially now that she knows how I feel about her. I'm afraid she won't want me.

"Yeah, that's him. The school must have called since I didn't show up for homeroom." I said stiffly.

The loud truck pulled up to where we were. He killed the engine and swung open the door. He climbed out and walked over to me with his slimy grin plastered to his face. I stepped in front of Alice.

"So now you are ditching school for a piece of ass? Your mom is going to be furious!" He sneared as he tried to look behind me to see Alice.

I actually stood my ground and kept Alice safe behind me. I won't let him lay a hand on her.

"Weren't you supposed to be at work? I know my mom would be pissed if she knew you blew off work today to come check on me." I said as bravely as I could. My mom was having to bust her ass this year because of all the stuff for graduation and such that I needed this year. James had to get a job at the auto supply store. My mom would be pissed if she knew he wasn't at work. I watched him for some kind of reaction. I tried standing my ground but I was also scared.

James just looked at me with that 'you are going to pay' look he has perfected. Then he turns and walks back to his truck and climbs in. As he starts it I start to feel my knees shake. That was the first time I ever stood up to him. I couldn't let him do anything to Alice.

After he pulled out of the parking lot I dropped to my knees for the second time today. I just couldn't keep myself standing any longer.

Alice comes around to stand in front of me and pulls me up into her arms. I feel ackward in her arms after that. I want to feel safe and loved but I honestly believe deep down I don't deserve that from someone as sweet and loving as her. I shy away from her embrace.

"Alice, I know I kissed you. I've wanted to for so long, but I shouldn't have done it. I wish I had done it years ago when I first met you. Now, I don't deserve you. I'm sorry." I say as emotionless as I could before grabbing my stuff and running away from her.

I can't turn back because I know if I do I will see the sadness in her eyes and go back to her. I will grab her and hold her and make the excitement and sparkle return. But I can't, because if I do, I know at some point James will use me to get to her. The look of hunger and desire in his eyes scared me. I can NOT let him hurt her!


	7. Chapter 7

To My Beloved, I Hope You Understand

Chapter 7

The next day at school, I noticed Alice wasn't there. I wondered why she would skip school and not let me know she wasn't going to be here today. I sat down and while the teacher was rambling about what she was doing this weekend, I sent Alice a quick text asking why she missed and I that I hoped she was ok. I also told her I wanted to talk to her about the kiss we shared and then my running off.

"Bella, are you paying attention or texting again? Your step-father told me that if I caught you texting in class again to call him. Do I need to call him?" my teacher asked with a stern voice. I looked up at her and slowly shook my head.

"No, ma'am." I responded politely. "I'm sorry." I hurried and put my phone away and sat up to listen for the rest of class. I waited for the vibration in my pocket to let me know she got my text. It never came.

At the end of lunch I still hadn't heard from her so I was really beginning to worry. Right before I got to my next class, I sent out another text to her. It wasn't like Alice to not answer at all. Again I sat through Biology without a response. When the bell rang I hurried to my locker and then out to the parking lot. I don't care if I get a detention. Alice is seriously freaking me out.

I jump into my truck and without even worrying about my seatbelt, I drive as fast as my beat up truck would go to Alice's house. When I pull up I notice her car is still here. I jump out of my truck and race up the porch to her front door. When I get up there, I begin knocking on the door. I wait for about five minutes and no one answers. Now I know something is wrong. Someone is always here and no matter how sick Alice has ever been, she always answers my text and her door.

I rush back to my truck and actually call her phone.

_"Hello, you've reached me but I'm busy. Leave your digits and I will yell back at you." _her voicemail beeped. I hung up, I can count on one hand with fingers left over, how many times her voicemail has ever picked up.

Just to see, I hit redial.

"Hello Bella." was all I heard. I hung up and put my truck in drive and floored it to my house. I know that voice.

I pull into my driveway and shut my truck off, I jump out of the cab and rush to the front door. It's open and I can hear a rustling noice toward the back of the house. I rush back and see my step-father fighting to restrain Alice. She is fighting with all she has to get away.

I look around and see my old bowling trophy (don't ask) and take a swing and catch him in the back of his head. He falls to the floor which loosens his grip on Alice and she runs past me and out the door. I turn to follow her but I feel his hand grab at my leg. I kick back and feel the contact of hitting his hand away. I turn and run out the front door to find Alice in my truck crying into her hands. I run to the driver's side and climb in. I put my truck in drive again and speed out of there.

I head towards the police station and turn to see what Alice is doing. She's just staring off ahead of us with her fists clinched at her sides. When we get to the station, I park and turn the motor off. I put the key in my pocket and turn to face Alice and debate on reaching for her clinched fist.

"I'm so sorry Alice. I thought you were sick, but you never answered so after lunch I went looking for you. I am so sorry I waiting that long even." I said softly as I again debated on taking her hand in mine.

Alice finally looked over to me with such anger and venom in her eyes that I actually backed away from her. My sweet Alice, I would never believe her to have such feelings.

"That monster told me what he wanted to do to me. He told me all the vile things he's done to you! I wanted to kill him! I still want to kill him, but not for me. For you." She said at first full of anger but by the last sentence she whispered. She reached towards me and pulled me into her arms.

I let her wrap her arms around me. If she wants to touch me after all the stuff James did to me then who was I to argue. I just couldn't look into her eyes and see the pity and disgust that I thought would be there. I just didn't want to lose the safety and comfort of her closeness.

We sat out there for what seemed like hours and she just held me. I finally looked up at her and was taken aback. Her eyes held no pity or disgust, they only held love and understanding.

I looked at her and now I started to cry.

"I wanted to tell you, I wanted to tell you everything but I was afraid you'd want nothing to do with me after. I was afraid of losing you, Alice. You're my best friend and I have fallen in love with you. That's what I wanted to tell you after we kissed. But then I remembered all the horrible things James had done and how disgusted you would find me." I said as I cried in front of the woman I love.

I didn't get to give her a chance to say anything. I backed away and climbed out of the truck. I turned towards the police station entrance and went through the doors. I needed to do this for Alice and I. Mostly for myself. I walked up to the officer in charge and told him I was there to press charges against my step-father.

He sat me down and for the next three hours, I explained the last five years of my life including today when James kidnapped my best friend. After I told him everything I turned to get up and standing not even ten feet away was Alice with tears streaming down her cheeks. She ran over to me and pulled me into her arms and held me tight. She stepped back long enough to move my hair out of my face and then she kissed me. She kissed me the way she had in the girl's restroom. She kissed me the way I had always wanted to be kissed by her.

"Bella Swan, I fell in love with you that day five years ago when I first met you. There is nothing that monster could have done to you to make me love you any less. I was always afraid you didn't love me the way I loved you. Now I know why you were afraid of being close. I will never doubt your love again." Alice said as she held my face in her hands. Then she drew my mouth to hers and when her lips touched mine this time, I knew she loved me and I knew I couldn't and wouldn't love any one the way I love her.

Alice is now and forever will be my beloved. And now she understands!

*****Thank you all for sticking with me for this story. I know some will be disappointed in the length of this story overall, but I couldn't bring myself to write anymore about James. He reminds me of someone and I just couldn't continue with detail. I hope you enjoyed it.*** **


	8. Chapter 8: Epilogue

To My Beloved, I Hope You Understand Epilogue

_***This epilogue is dedicated to HomeByTwilight for giving me the idea to write it. Thank you for liking my story.***_

Five Years Later...

I look back five years ago on that day when Alice finally told me how she loved me and I still can't believe in less than an hour she will be my wife. I am the happiest girl alive.

Two years ago I graduated early with my degree in psychology and found a job helping young abuse victims. Alice graduated last year and started her own fashion magazine and clothing line. My mother divorced James right after he was found guilty of kidnapping Alice and the five horrible years I had to deal with his abuse and rape.

I've also been through therapy and I understand my being gay has nothing to do with my abuse and that there is nothing wrong with me. Alice and I have been open about our relationship from day one and we agreed when it was legalized, that we would get married and start our life together. We have also looked into adoption since we both love children and can't have one of our own together.

Two years after James was sentenced to a minimum of twenty-five years, they found him dead in his cell with the words pedophile and rapist carved into his skin. I didn't waste tears on him and to be honest I secretly cheered.

Now that you are caught up on my last five years, let's talk about this amazing wedding that is happening in less than half an hour now. I am dressed in a beautifully tailored dark purple suit with tails and a cumberbun. My hair is pulled tight into a bun with beautiful light lavendar roses in it. Alice's wonderful mother helped me with my make-up and the hair. I have a light lavendar boutonniere in my jacket. I can't wait to see my beloved's dress, I know she will look amazing!

I walk out into the beautiful meadow where we decided to have the ceremony and stood beside the pastor who agreed to perform our wedding.

Then I heard The Wedding March and knew my bride-to-be was about to come through the grove of trees. I look up just in time to see the rose petals fluttering down as Alice stepped through.

I couldn't breath, my heart is racing and my eyes only see her. She is wearing a light lavendar dress with a lavendar veil. The dress was exquisite and made Alice breathtakingly beautiful. She carried a bouquet of lavendar roses and baby's breath. She slowly walked up the isle to me and when she reached me I held my arm out for her to take. Once her hand was on my arm the current of raw energy I felt made me tingle from head to toes.

We turned together to face the pastor and waited for him to speak. He started off with the standard stuff but when it came to vows we wrote our own.

"We wrote our own vows and would like to share them with our family and friends." I addressed our guests.

"I will start if that's ok with you Alice?" I asked her. She simply nodded her head and smiled her gorgeous smile.

"Alice, I know I am not a wonderful writer, but I wanted my vows to come from my heart. I met you when I was thirteen, and my life was never the same. I know a lot of people say that but it is true. It was a terrible time for me, and yet your simple friendship gave me strength and courage to continue on. I actually fell in love with you that first day I met you, but then I was given a chance to get to know you and fall even harder. I was terrified for you to find out my horrible secret, but I found out that it wasn't going to change anything. Alice, I love you and I will cherish you for all eternity. No one and nothing can change that." I placed the rainbow wedding band on her finger and kissed the back of her hand. She looked as if she wanted to cry and when she spoke I heard it in her voice.

"Bella, that day ten years ago when I met you, I knew I wanted to marry you. Though at the time we couldn't, I knew one day we would. I also knew there was nothing that could possibly change how I felt about you then and how I do now. You are my one true soul mate and I will love you for all eternity." She said as she placed the rainbow wedding band on my finger. She kept rubbing my hand and I could see the love radiating off of her. We turned to face the pastor again so he could finish the ceremony.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Mrs. Alice Swan and Mrs. Bella Swan. I happily pronounce you wife and wife. You may now kiss your bride" He said with a big grin. I put my hands on Alice's veil and lift it. I then put my hands on her cheeks and draw her to me, slowly my lips touch hers and everyone else disappears from our world. I start kissing her gently at first but then her arms circle my waist and mine circle her neck, pulling her closer to me. Our kiss became heated and we both had to pull apart to catch our breath.

I looked out at our guests and smiled while Alice decided to throw the bouquet, we watched and to both our surprise my mother caught it. She just blushed when everyone else started clapping and cheering. I took Alice's hand in mine and led her back out of the meadow and towards my new Mustang convertable. I opened the door for her and closed it once her whole dress was inside. I walked over to the driver side and climbed in. I kissed my beautiful bride one more time in front of our guests and then drove off.

Not only did she understand me, she loves me, and married me. I am the happiest woman on Earth!


End file.
